Sunday, January 15, 2017

Chapter 1: 001

The wind is whistling across the fields as I drive the back roads making my way to Houston. I'm listening to a good book, so I don't mind the drive so much today. Of course, I'm only thirty minutes in and still have another two hours to go before I arrive at my apartment.

I'm already rethinking my new year's resolution to go home every weekend, however. I love my home in the country, and miss my husband, of course. And it's not so much the drive that annoys me, although some days are worse than others. What really bothers me about the round trip drive is the fact that five hours are lost in the process. I'm so overwhelmed with work and the two classes I teach in the evenings, and feel like I'm getting further behind each day. My weekends at home never seem as productive as my weekends in the city, but I am already pushing the bounds of what is "normal" in a relationship and feel as if I'm supposed to go home. After all these years of living apart I should probably have gotten over the guilt of it all by now. Leo doesn't seem to mind too much. So I guess I'm the only one who really feels any amount of guilt about the living arrangements. Or perhaps the problem is that I feel guilty about not feeling guilty. It may be my deep, dark secret, but I have to admit to myself that I still really like living alone.

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